Please note: this is entirely fictional. I do not have a five year
old daughter named Alex or a husband. However, I do enjoy Disney, so enjoy :)
"But what do you mean we aren't going
to Disney?"
Crap. Maybe I should have started this
differently. I knew the tears were going to come, but I wasn't expecting Alex
to start sobbing right off the bat.
"Alex, I think we will have to wait a
little longer to go to Disney World"
"But why?"
"Uh, well, because mommy and daddy
don't have enough money right now, we have to save a little more"
"WAIT RIGHT THERE" Alex
screamed, "I'll be right back!!!"
"Okay...." what was she up to? She
had bolted up the steps as fast as those five year old legs could take her, which
believe me, was actually pretty fast. next thing you know, there are little
five year old stomps back down the stairs and into the living room.
Oh God. she brought down her piggy bank.
"Here mommy" She says as pull
out two dollars and forty two cents.
Crap.
"Oh thank you sweetheart, but, um, I
still think we need to wait a little longer"
"But why? I brought you some
money" the tears started to form in her eyes.
"I, um, know honey but I um" I
looked at my husband. He looked equally as confused.
"Well Alex," he started,
"because um, last night, we got a letter from Pascal"
"Pascal?" Alex and I said in
unison. Where is he going with this?
"Yes, Pascal" he said catching
my eye, "And Pascal said he needs you to stay home for a little while,
because he needs to help Rapunzel and Flynn have their wedding first".
"WE ARE GOING TO MISS THEIR
WEDDING!?"
Well, that didn't work.
Reading this really did make me smile, Lauren! It's a very realistic situation, and I love how you incorporated a disney character to connect with the five- year- old. I loved the nervous voice of the mom as well, and how by the end, they still have a crying kid on their hands. Pretty spiffy, am'am (:
ReplyDeleteThis was the most adorable thing that I have ever read. However, my negative is that you did not capitalize a bunch of your sentences. So, therefore I would fix that and it will be PURFECT!
ReplyDeleteI like how you incorporated the thoughts of the person talking to their kid as well as the dialog. The only negative was that the parents couldn't find a good enough excuse for the kid to be satisfied.
ReplyDeleteAh, this is adorable! I like it a lot. You really established the innocence and good nature of little kids so well. (As well as a perfect reference to Tangled. Which is a fantastic movie.) I think it could improved by a bit more detail in some sections. There's good description with Alex, but I thought the character of your fictional husband could have been fleshed out better.
ReplyDelete